“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.” 

The persistent refrain of the word"No" those two unyielding letters, has been a recurring challenge for many. This ongoing struggle stands out as one of the most formidable obstacles. The ability to decline is commonly regarded as a vulnerability shared by a significant number of individuals. Consider the possibility that our continual inclination to say yes might be detrimental to our personal health and well-being.

Why is it so hard?

It can stem back to being a child and how we were raised. As children we were taught to be respectful and polite and saying no was a form of backtalk or disrespect. Being brought up in that environment, the environment that had you believing that NO was a bad word or something we don’t say because it’s not polite actually made it difficult for to speak up for ourselves and what we want or need. As adults now we have the inability to use that word. Another reason we may find it difficult to say no is because we don’t want to disappoint and hurt anyone’s feelings or just simply that we are people pleasers and have always put others needs and wants before our own.  This kind of behavior is easily used to avoid conflict or confrontation. But have we ever considered that being a yes person is doing more harm than good?

Let’s explore the ways where saying no is better than saying yes:

If you feel uncomfortable- Nobody knows you better than you. If it does not feel right and you are uncomfortable and uneasy about it, then say no. Listen to your gut; it is your second brain after all.

If you feel guilty or obligated- this pertains to work and personal, state and church in another sense. If you feel guilty or obligated, step back and ask yourself why. Your decision should not be based solely on your guilt.

If you’re overloaded- If you are overloaded with work tasks or other commitments say no, wait until your time and energy are more freed up.

If the ask crosses your personal boundaries- your boundaries are worth standing up for.

If you are only saying yes to please- if saying yes and pleasing someone is putting your happiness and well-being in jeopardy then it’s not worth it.

Now let’s explore the importance of saying no:

Do less to deliver more- when we focus on one thought, one moment, one task and one thing at a time we are able devote our time and energy to do it well.

Saying no can benefit your career- Being assertive will give you more freedom that aligns with your professional goals.

It’s important for your mental well-being- We often suffer when we take on more than we can

handle.

Prevent burnouts- We all tend to go go go go not realizing that eventually and enviably we will experience in one way or another a burnout.

Maintain healthy relationships- We are able to keep healthy relationships in our life by setting boundaries and respecting them.

Always saying yes can prevent personal goals- There is no way to achieve goals with little to no energy. Knowing your limitations will help you stay on track with your action plan. Keeping your goals and dreams intact will ensure a healthy body and mind.

Knowing your capabilities- knowing your skills and abilities will determine whether or not you decline any request- personally or professionally.

Takes precedence in self-care- taking time for yourself allows you to vibrate on a higher level while providing more focus. Recognizing where and when to say no is a courageous act of self-care.

When presented with something that requires and yes or no answer consider these questions

to gain more insight to how you truly feel:

Do I have the time and energy to do this?

Will saying yes add value to my life?

Am I doing this to please someone?

Does saying no means that I can say yes to something more important?

Do I need time to rest and recharge?

Does something more important require my attention?